05-13-2026

Hey friends 🤍

There are certain songs that bypass the mind completely and go straight to the nervous system.

Songs that make you realize: “Oh. That’s what I’ve been carrying.”

That’s what happened for me this week. Two songs in particular inspired this newsletter:

🎵 “Celebrate Me” by Iniko Rose

Celebrate Me IngaRose PREVIEW   ​

🎵 “I Was a Kid” by Damon Price

I Was a Kid • Damon Price I Was a Kid • Damon Price PREVIEW   ​

What struck me most listening to them was not just how deeply they resonated with me, it was the realization that these songs are resonating with so many people because they are speaking to something collective.

The elephant in the room we are finally beginning to talk about.

The reality that so many humans learned survival before they ever learned safety.

• The child who learned to stay quiet.
• The child who became hyper-independent.
• The child who learned to read the room before they learned to express themselves.
• The child who stayed alert.
• The child who stayed small.
• The child who stayed helpful.
• The child who stayed invisible.
• The child who stayed “good.”

Not because they were wrong, weak or flawed in any way, but simply because their nervous system adapted intelligently to the environment they were in.

And many of us never realized those adaptations were adaptations because they were normal in our homes.

We thought:

• “I’m just anxious.”
• “I’m just independent.”
• “I’m just sensitive.”
• "I’m just a perfectionist.”
• “I’m just someone who struggles to rest.”

But many of these behaviors were survival responses that became personality traits over time.

Not because our parents were monsters. This is not about blame.

Most of our parents and caregivers were carrying inherited patterns too.

But compassion for them should never require abandonment of ourselves.

One line in particular stopped me in my tracks:

“I learned how to stay small.”

Oof.

I think that line hit me so hard because it speaks to something so many of us were programmed to do.

• To be quieter
• Less emotional
• Less expressive
• Less needy
• Less inconvenient
• Less powerful
• Less ourselves

Many of us were domesticated into shrinking. Not always intentionally. Not always maliciously. But conditioned nonetheless.

• Conditioned to keep the peace.
• Conditioned to not upset others.
• Conditioned to perform for love.
• Conditioned to stay “good.”
• Conditioned to disconnect from our instincts, emotions, anger, truth, and needs in order to feel safe, accepted, or loved.

And after years of that programming, many adults do not even realize how much of their personality was built around adaptation.

How much energy goes into staying small.

How much exhaustion comes from constantly managing yourself so other people feel comfortable.

And I think that is why songs like these are impacting so many people right now. Because collectively, more people are beginning to recognize:
“Wow… maybe I was carrying more than I realized.”

The beautiful thing is that healing is not about becoming a victim to the past.

It is about acknowledging what your nervous system has been carrying all along.

Because survival is not proof that something did not hurt you.It is proof of how strong you had to become.

And maybe that’s the part of yourself you have not given enough credit for yet.

• The version of you that kept going.
• The version of you that adapted.
• The version of you that survived things no child should have had to carry alone.

Still standing means something. And no one can take that from you.

If you’re ready to change the patterns you were conditioned into — and the way those patterns are impacting you at home and at work — you can book a FREE DISCOVERY call here:

​https://cal.com/reparentyourself/breakthrough-call​

📩 Email:[email protected]

🎙️ Podcast: (re)Parenting Radio​

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