🪞 When Children Trigger Us: 💝 The Mirror of (re)Parenting

01-18-2025

"Every trigger is a teacher, showing us where our inner child still needs our love and attention." - Lisa Watson

Dear (re)Parenting Tribe,

When we understand that parenting children and re-parenting ourselves are two sides of the same coin, we discover a profound truth: the nurturing practices that help children thrive are exactly what our inner child needs to heal. As we learn to parent consciously, we find that each practice we implement for the children in our lives can be mirrored inward for our own healing journey.

Have you ever noticed how a child's behavior can instantly activate intense emotional reactions within you? Perhaps it is their refusal to listen, their persistent whining, or their struggle with sharing that sends you into an unexpected spiral of frustration. What if I told you that these triggering moments are not about the child at all, but rather windows into your own unhealed inner child wounds?

THE MIRROR OF BEHAVIOR: UNDERSTANDING OUR TRIGGERS

When we find ourselves intensely reactive to a child's behavior, we are often encountering parts of ourselves that were once silenced, shamed, or suppressed. That child who refuses to listen might be reflecting back to us times when we were forced to comply without question.

Their loud, disruptive behavior might echo the authentic expression we were never allowed to express when we were children - which is deeply troubling as it reminds us of how we were forced to disconnect from our authenticity to be loved, accepted and feel safe.

THE MISCONCEPTION OF TRIGGERS

WHAT LIES BENEATH

We believe the child's behavior is the problem, when it is actually our own unresolved past
We think our reactions are about the present moment, when they stem from our childhood experiences
We assume children need to change their behavior, when they are showing us what needs healing within
We judge the behavior as "wrong," when this judgment comes from our own conditioning

THE NERVOUS SYSTEM CONNECTION: UNDERSTANDING OUR REACTIONS

Our bodies hold memories of our early childhood experiences - both the comfortable and uncomfortable ones. These memories create an internal safety map that guides our reactions today. When a child's behavior touches upon our old wounds, our nervous system responds automatically - just as it learned to do in our own childhood. We might find ourselves shifting from a state of calm and connection into either defensive reactions (like anger or control) or emotional withdrawal (like shutting down or disconnecting). These are the same protective patterns our nervous system developed to keep us safe when we were young.

SIGNS OF NERVOUS SYSTEM ACTIVATION

RECOGNIZING THE PATTERNS

We feel emotions flood our body before we can even think
Our body tenses up as if preparing for danger from the past
We find ourselves mentally checking out or unable to stay present
We react with a strong need to control the situation
Our body jumps into defend-mode before we choose to respond

THE PARALLEL PATH: 7 ESSENTIAL PRACTICES FOR BOTH PARENTING AND (re)PARENTING JOURNEYS

As we begin to recognize these patterns and understand their origins, we can transform our approach to both parenting and self-healing. The beautiful synchronicity is that what serves the child also serves our inner child. Each practice below offers a dual opportunity to show up differently for the children in our lives while simultaneously tending to our own inner healing. Let us explore these parallel practices that honor both journeys:

7 ESSENTIAL PRACTICES

FOR BOTH PARENTING AND (re)PARENTING JOURNEYS

(1) ACCEPTANCE & PAUSE - RESPOND RATHER THAN REACT

WITH A CHILD: Pause to hold space for the child to simply express and feel their feelings, without lecturing, teaching, or interrupting.

WITH YOURSELF: Take 90 seconds to play witness to your own emotional feelings and reactions without judgment.

(2) APOLOGIZE

WITH A CHILD: Apologize when you've been reactive, showing them that mistakes are human and repair is possible.

WITH YOURSELF: Extend self-forgiveness for your learned patterns and behaviors, acknowledging that you are doing the best you can in each moment.

(3) CONNECTION

WITH A CHILD: Connect daily at their level, spending dedicated time in their world doing what interests them.

WITH YOURSELF: Schedule regular inner child connection time, engaging in activities that bring you joy and playfulness.

(4) CHOICES

WITH A CHILD: Offer weighted choices instead of rigid rules, empowering them to participate in decision-making.

WITH YOURSELF: Give yourself permission to choose differently than your conditioning, exploring options beyond your learned limitations.

(5) EMOTIONALLY REGULATE

WITH A CHILD: Co-regulate through presence, holding space for big emotions without trying to fix or change them.

WITH YOURSELF: Self-soothe through embodied presence practices, staying with uncomfortable feelings as they move through.

(6) EMPATHY & CREATIVITY

WITH A CHILD: Create "YES/NO" sandwiches, finding ways to honor their desires while maintaining necessary boundaries.

WITH YOURSELF: Find creative alternatives to rigid internal rules, balancing structure with flexibility.

(7) ROUTINE

WITH A CHILD: Maintain supportive routines that create predictability and safety in their daily experience.

WITH YOURSELF: Create safety through consistent self-care practices, honoring your need for structure and support.

As we practice these parallel approaches, we discover that every triggering moment holds a dual invitation for healing. The very situations that challenge us most reveal exactly where transformation awaits - both in our relationship with children and with ourselves. What we once perceived as problems to fix become doorways to deeper understanding, offering us continuous opportunities to choose a new way of responding.

HEALING THROUGH AWARENESS

TRANSFORMING TRIGGERS INTO GROWTH

We view tantrums as problems to control, when they are opportunities to practice presence and emotional authenticity.
We rush to stop difficult emotions, when they invite us to expand our capacity to hold space.
We attempt to force compliance and change behavior when we are being called to deepen connection, honor authenticity and practice self acceptance.
We react from our wounds, when we can respond with empathy and inner wisdom.

Take some time to sit with the following questions, allowing your answers to emerge from a place of honest self-reflection. Remember, there are no wrong answers - only opportunities for greater awareness and healing.

REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS

DEEPENING YOUR AWARENESS

1. Which child behaviors trigger your strongest emotional reactions?

2. What messages did you receive about these behaviors in your childhood?

3. How might your inner child be asking for attention through these triggers?

4. What would it feel like to respond from wholeness rather than wounding?

AFFIRMATIONS FOR TRANSFORMATION

PROGRAMMING NEW BELIEFS

Speaking these truths aloud helps rewire your neural pathways and strengthen new beliefs:

1. "I am creating space to understand my triggers with compassion"

2. "I am healing the parts of me that I suppressed to feel safe & accepted."

3. "I am allowing both myself and children to be perfectly imperfect"

4. "I am breaking generational patterns through conscious awareness"

WHICH OF THESE INNER CHILD WOUNDS RESONATES MOST WITH YOU?

The need to be perfect to receive love

The suppression of authentic expression

The burden of emotional caretaking

The fear of making mistakes

ARE YOU READY TO START YOUR (re)PARENTING JOURNEY?

I have carefully curated and designed the Complete Guide to (re)Parenting Yourself, just for you!! START NOW to change the subconscious beliefs that are keeping you from creating the reality you desire.

GRAB YOUR COPY NOW!!

Remember, every trigger is an invitation to heal, every challenging moment an opportunity to (re)parent yourself and others with greater consciousness.

With love and support for your journey,