Do You Actually Know Yourself? and What Happens When You Don't?

10-10-2026

“You are the one person you bring into every experience of your life.”

Hey friends 🩵

Do You Actually Know Yourself?

I've been thinking about two very simple words lately:

Know thyself.

It's an ancient idea, but I believe it may be one of the most important things we can ever learn to do.

Because you are the one person you bring into every part of your life.

Every relationship. Every conversation. Every conflict. Every job. Every parenting moment. Every friendship. Every opportunity. Every heartbreak. Every decision.

Wherever you go, there you are.

And yet, isn't it interesting how much time we spend trying to understand everyone else?

Why did they say that? Why does my partner respond that way? Why is my child behaving like this? Why hasn't that person texted me back? Why does my mother do that? What did they mean by that comment?

We can become incredibly skilled observers of everyone around us while remaining surprisingly unaware of what's happening inside of us.

And I don't think knowing yourself simply means knowing what you like, what you're good at, whether you're an introvert or extrovert, or what your personality test says about you.

I think it means becoming curious about what's underneath your behavior.

Why does that particular person trigger me?
Why do I feel compelled to explain myself?
Why is it so uncomfortable when someone is disappointed in me?
Why do I rush?
Why do I become defensive?
Why do I have trouble asking for help?
Why do I say yes when I want to say no?
Why does slowing down make me uncomfortable?

Not with judgment. With curiosity. Because one of the practices I've been using more and more in my own life lately is incredibly simple:

Everything is information.

A reaction is information.
An emotion is information.
A trigger is information.
Someone else's opinion of me is information.
Even irritation is information.

Instead of immediately deciding something shouldn't bother me, or that I shouldn't feel a certain way, I've been practicing noticing it.

Huh. Look at that. 🧐

🧐 That really affected me.

Why did that land so strongly today? 🧐

🧐 What's happening inside of me right now?

I don't necessarily need to solve it and I don't have to turn it into a three-hour investigation of my childhood either.

Sometimes I can simply notice. And there's something incredibly freeing about that. Because information isn't instruction.

Just because I have a thought doesn't mean I have to believe it.

Just because I have an emotion doesn't mean I have to act from it.

Just because someone has an opinion about me doesn't mean I have to adopt it.

And just because I react a certain way doesn't mean I have to decide:

Well, that's just who I am.

Maybe it is. Or maybe it's something I learned. Maybe it's a pattern that once served me so well that eventually I stopped recognizing it as a pattern at all.

And I think that's where knowing ourselves becomes really interesting.

We don't need awareness so we can find more things to fix about ourselves. We need awareness because awareness creates choice.

When I can notice what's happening inside of me without immediately judging it, defending it, explaining it, or reacting from it, I create a little space. And inside that space, I can get curious.

Is this true?

Is this mine?

Is this serving me?

What do I want to do with this information?

That's a very different way of moving through life.

Maybe knowing yourself isn't about arriving at some final answer to the question, Who am I?

Maybe it's about developing a relationship with yourself that's curious enough to keep asking.

And maybe one of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves this week is simply:

Is this really who I am—or is this something I learned to do?

Don't rush to answer it. Just notice.

Everything is information. What you do with that information is up to you.

Have a beautiful week, friends. 🤍

Lisa

P.S. On Thursday's episode of (re)Parenting Radio, I'm going much deeper into what it actually means to know thyself—and why I believe it may be one of the most important things we can ever learn to do. We'll explore the difference between personality and patterns, why understanding where our behaviors came from isn't about blaming the past, the blind spots we can't always see in ourselves, and how awareness eventually gives us something incredibly powerful: choice.